itsnotmymind: (buffy/faith)
I get irritated by Buffy in Sanctuary as much as the next Faith fan, but I've always been bothered the level of flack she receives from fandom for saying Angel, "I'm sorry. I can't be in your club. I never murdered anybody."

You can't possibly know what she's going through )
itsnotmymind: (buffy/angel)
I stumbled upon this tumblr post in which a Buffy/Angel shipper listed their top favorite scenes for the ship. So I started thinking, what are my favorite Buffy/Angel scenes?

Hint: 'Close your eyes' is not one of them )
itsnotmymind: (darla)
I stumbled on a link through the [ profile] su_herald that contained a gif set of Angel's morning after with Buffy in Innocence, comparing it to his rejection Darla's offer of sex and potential soullessness in Dear Boy. Gif set is here.

There's lots of interesting discussion beneath the gifs, but the thing that stands out to me the most is the virgin/whore dichotomy. I don't have much to say here that hasn't already been said by others, but I wanted to hash it out for my own thoughts.

It's not like I've never been there before )


On a somewhat unrelated note, I've seen at least one person recently dismiss Buffy as being attracted to Riley because he "safe", implying that her heart of hearts lies with Angel and/or Spike and if she were true to herself she would take the risk of being with one of them.

Riley the 'safe' choice? )
itsnotmymind: (buffy/spike life serial)
I wandered through my "btvs" tag and confirmed what I thought: I haven't made a post addressing my opinion on that much debated topic among Buffy/Spike fans: Did Spike believe Buffy when she told him she loved him in Chosen?

I think the question itself contains a pretty big assumption: That the answer is a binary. Either he believed her immediately and never seriously wavered in that belief, or he just plain didn't believe her, and essentially held onto that lack of faith all the way to the end of AtS.

In my opinion, Spike's perception of Buffy's "I love you" was complicated, and evolved both in the moment and following his resurrection, as he got distance from the moment.

No, you don't )
itsnotmymind: (buffy/angel)
So, I've been re-watching Buffy season 2 and have gotten past the Surprise/Innocence two-parter.

And I just have to say, wow, how manipulative were those claddagh rings?

A sign of devotion? )
itsnotmymind: (buffy 1)
Sorted using the links here.

Warning: It takes awhile to sort all your favorite episodes and characters.

Favorite Buffyverse characters and BtVS episodes )
itsnotmymind: (buffy/spike as you were)
Re-reading [ profile] gabrielleabelle's old meta posts in good for inspiring BtVS meta from me.

Gabrielleabelle argued that the Buffy/Angel relationship subverts itself. This is what I picked up on - on a less articulate level - the first time I watched Buffy. I was disappointed when Angel got his soul back and seemed immediately and magically transformed into his good self (when he gets back his soul in Becoming 2, he doesn't remember his soulless period). It shoved the subversion back in the box.

Vampires with and without souls )
itsnotmymind: (sam & dean metamorphosis)
I spent this morning thinking about hurtful lines from my favorites TV shows. Things that characters say to the people they love that are devastating. I picked out my current favorites from each of my favorite TV shows (Torchwood, Buffy, Supernatural, Jessica Jones). I'm sure there's particularly devastating lines that I've forgotten, but here's what I have now:
Ow )
itsnotmymind: (buffy & faith)
Still re-reading [ profile] gabrielleabelle's Buffy polls, and I've gotten to her poll on This Year's Girl.

Her third question jumped out at me: "Looking back at events up till this episode, do you think Buffy had done everything that could be reasonably expected of her to reach out to Faith?" There's a lot of discussion in the comments about whether Buffy did enough to help Faith, and what should realistically have been expected of her, Faith-wise.

The question itself demonstrates for me a problem with how fandom talks about the Faith/Buffy relationship. Because no one ever asks, "Did Faith do enough to help Buffy?" Buffy can be condescending with Faith, and she is the senior slayer - but the end of the day she's Faith's equal and peer, not her superior. It's not even clear if she's older or younger than Faith. Buffy isn't Faith's watcher, mother, or therapist. It's not fair to either girl to expect Buffy to take responsibility for Faith as if Faith were a wayward child (which, I mean, she kinda is, but not in relation to Buffy). Buffy had her problems, too, and if she is responsible for Faith, shouldn't Faith also be responsible for her?
itsnotmymind: (buffy/faith kiss)
I've been re-reading the comments on [ profile] gabrielleabelle's episode polls for season three, and stumbled on a tumblr post about the season, and that's got me thinking about why Buffy S3 is tied with S7 for my least favorite of the full-length seasons. On an episode by episode basis, I would say S3 is stronger (I LOVE Earshot), but S3 is the season where I temporarily lost my emotional investment in the show, and here's why:

Nothing happens.

You'd think stabbing someone into a coma would change something )

Stop Me

Jan. 15th, 2017 09:31 am
itsnotmymind: (Default)
An exchange from Buffy vs. Dracula:

Buffy: Stay away from me.
Dracula: Are you afraid I will bite you? Slayer, that's why you came.
Buffy: No. Last night ... it's not gonna happen again.
Dracula: Stop me. Stake me.
Buffy: I...Any minute now.

“Stop me.” Shades of Buffy/Spike?

A Buffy/Spike shipper who had more sympathy for Spike in S6 once suggested, discussing Wrecked, that maybe people thought Spike had power by his sexiness, and mocked the idea. But as I have discussed before, it's not sexiness. It's shame.

Something interesting that I've never seen anyone comment on: In Beneath You, when Spike starts taunting Buffy, goes into vamp face, claims he hasn’t changed, he references the balcony. Seeing Red isn’t as awful as Dead Things, for me, because while Spike tries to overpower Buffy physically in SR, he is not playing on her shame. He’s not using her self-loathing.
itsnotmymind: (Default)
I have occasionally thought about how both Spike and Ruby use Buffy and Sam’s shame about their sexual relationship against them.

There are strong differences, of course. Spike just wants Buffy to love him. In many ways, he follows her lead, but his lack of soul makes it difficult for him to gauge when he’s abusing her and when he isn’t. He’s an emotional predator, and we see that on the balcony in Dead Things. She’s ashamed of what they do together, so he uses it to isolate her from her friends, to convince her that she is bad and dirty and has no choice but to be with him. He deliberately crushes her happiness and exacerbates her feelings and self-loathing. He’s impulsive about it - only a few episodes later he is touched to see her happy. But that makes what he does no less real.

His encouragement alley beating is real, too. Buffy’s a big girl and Spike doesn’t force her to do anything, but he encourages her. He lets her. He wants her to beat him, because the more horrible she is, the more ashamed she feels, and the more (from his perspective at the time) she is under his power.

Ruby comes at it more deliberately. She doesn't want love. She wants control over Sam in order to achieve her goals. While she may have enjoyed having sex with Sam, I think she initiates sex in order to have power. Dean’s “banging monsters” comment in Sex and Violence underlines Sam’s very real and very legit reasons for being ashamed of having sex with Ruby, for not wanting Dean - or Bobby, for that matter - to know.

While Spike wants Buffy’s friends to know the truth, Ruby initiates the lie to Dean, in such a way that continuing the lie is the path of least resistance to Sam. Later, she encourages Sam to tell Dean the truth, but she’s already set it up. They’re co-conspirators. Telling Dean the truth would be admitting that minutes after Dean walked into the door from Hell Sam lied to his face about something pretty significant. In that moment, when Ruby wondered if Dean was Sam’s lover, Sam chose Ruby. “He’s my brother,” he said, and in some ways, he really did choose a demon over his own brother.
itsnotmymind: (buffy & faith)
...but I just finished rewatching Bad Girls, and OMG, the way Faith pauses after declaring the she doesn't care about Finch's death to make sure she takes in the look of horror on Buffy's face. In some ways she loves playing the bad girl to Buffy's good girl.

Also, for people who say Buffy was all about condemning Faith, note this line: "Getting rid of the evidence doesn't make the problem go away." She says "problem" not "crime".

Also, ugh. I made a post awhile back about the good slayer/bad slayer dynamic, focusing on Faith's point view. I really want to write about Buffy's perspective - and a phenomenon I've seen with real people that I've dubbed "The Good Girl Con" (although I do sometimes see elements of it with male people). I don't think I'm ready for that yet, though. Maybe I'll have thoughts after watching Consequences. Or maybe I have some other stuff to figure out first - we'll see.
itsnotmymind: (dean amulet)
At some point, I figure out why Buffy Summers projecting her guilt onto others in unforgiving ways makes me sympathize with her, but when Dean Winchester does it, it just makes me think he's a hypocritical asshole. I think Buffy is ultimately more forgiving to others and harsher on herself, which helps.
itsnotmymind: (buffy & faith)
I have been doing a Faith rewatch of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (and Angel the Series). I've just finished Revelations, and have thoughts:

1. Gwendolyn Post is really cool. And so good for Faith! I kind of wish she had been for real, even if it would have complicated evil Faith arc and left us Wesley-less.

2. I'm not quite sold on Buffy and Faith's buddy/buddy relationship. They were starting to hit it off at the end of Faith, Hope, and Tricks, but the "we're dating" joke and how casually comfortable they are with each other still seems a little out of the blue.

3. I don't want to hate on other people's ships, but Buffy/Angel still have anti-chemistry to me (until the Yoko Factor and after - then I like their dynamic as exes).

4. Note that Faith responds positively to the idea of her watcher being very bossy. Faith-the-rebel secretly craves order. I wonder what her first watcher was like.

5. I 100% understand why Faith turned down Buffy's offer of friendship at the end. When Faith pushed Buffy for information about Angel early on, Buffy turned her down. Buffy has spent much of their friendships keeping Angel's survival a secret. Faith has lied to Buffy, too, (hello, Kakistos!), but that doesn't change the fact that Buffy's offer of friendship is one-sided. Faith trusts Buffy. Buffy doesn't trust Faith.

6. I'm okay with the clothing fluke. It's silly, but it's okay. Guilt-ridden Willow is entertaining, anyway.

7. I am 100% on the Scoobies' side during their confrontation with Buffy. She wronged them deeply, especially Giles. Xander, on the other hand, crossed a line in telling all to Faith and encouraging her to kill Angel. Angel's death should not have been his decision. Faith should not have found out like that.
itsnotmymind: (buffy crying)
I happened to glance at a piece of Buffy meta the other week. It argued that Once More With Feeling was a musical tragedy staged like a musical comedy. This brought to mind some thoughts I've had about the episode. Which is to say, I don't think OMWF is a tragedy.

Life's Not a Song )
itsnotmymind: (sam and ruby)
If I were to be asked about my favorite TV shows, I would number four - not as my favorites, but as the ones that meant the most to me at the time I first saw them. In the order that I fell in love with them these shows are: Torchwood, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural, and Jessica Jones.

For each these shows, I naturally have favorite characters: Dr. Owen Harper, Buffy Anne Summers, Sam Winchester, and Jessica Jones herself (though Trish is a damn close second). Liking the type of shows that I like, all these characters have killed people (and/or people-like beings). Naturally, I feel the need to name my favorite kill for each character.

Spoilers for all four shows )

You know what else is fun? Naming my favorite villain of each show! So:

Again with the spoilers )

*Yes, I'm a Buffy/Spike shipper. What's your point?
itsnotmymind: (buffy & sam)
There's something I've been trying to articulate about Buffy that I haven't been having much success with. I think I managed it a little in replying to this awesome comment from [ profile] local_max, from a post about Buffy and Faith. Taking the relevant part of my comment and putting it here for my reference.

"Sometimes I wonder if there is an element of fake it 'till you make to Buffy's kindness: She fakes it not because she's insincere, but because she's trying too hard. She acts good because she doesn't feel she is good. So she's worse than everyone, because she's not a good person, but she's better than everyone, because she acts so good and they don't."
itsnotmymind: (darla)
This is a new version of the first animated icon I made, because the original turned out to be waaaaay too dark. Hopefully, this will turn out better.

Heaven and Hell )


Jan. 26th, 2016 02:02 pm
itsnotmymind: (buffy & faith)
So this is about Faith.

Or maybe it's about Buffy. I'm not quite sure.

I was originally planning on having better organization to these thoughts, but I didn't like my initial plan, and making new one would be, like, work. So, it's a little scattered.

This is about how the bad slayer/good slayer dichotomy contributed to Faith's turn to evil. This is also about the ways in which Buffy's actions contributed to Faith's turn to evil.

This isn't an argument that Buffy was mean and rejecting to Faith and therefore it's totally understandable that Faith would run to the mayor. Buffy wasn't mean and rejecting to Faith. She wasn't a perfect little saint, but she was very kind to Faith.

That's actually part of the problem.

In my experience, we in fandom have a tendency to focus on blame. Don't get me wrong, I love blame! The sci-fi/fantasy TV shows I enjoy are full of characters making horrible choices. By all means, blame away.

But sometimes this blame prevents people from analyzing what actually happened. Why characters made the choices they made. How they react to each other, influence each other. Obsessing over what was who's fault can make it hard to see the complexities of a situation. If a conversation between two fans turns into an argument over which character wronged which character the most...well, there's a lot that a conversation like that is going to overlook, no matter how smart and respectful the fans in question are.

One more thing to think about before I start: Suppose someone says or does something the can only interpreted as good and fair. I'm not talking about a bad thing disguised as good and fair, but something genuinely good and fair. And this interaction leaves you feeling bad and dirty, even if you haven't done anything wrong, or haven't done anything that wrong...

Who is at fault? Are you at fault, for feeling attacked when you aren't? Are they at fault, for making you feel bad? Is anyone at fault?

So. A handful of thoughts about the good slayer and the bad slayer.

Do you think you're better than me? )


itsnotmymind: (Default)

September 2017

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