Pretty much agree with all of your points here. I watched it last year as a 40-something so yeah, lots of eyerolling - the angelus arc was great but S3 was almost unbearable for me.
I didn't mind the kiss in Chosen either btw, especially because 20 seconds later she's all business "Ok, I'm done basking, what are you doing here?" She's more mature throughout that entire scene.
I don't mind her statement in Selfless because it's finally bringing the Xander's Lie arc full circle (that ep is as much about Xander and Buffy as Xander and Anya) and she's making a very specific point to him because he's slut-shaming her and judging her again. So I get where she's coming from there.
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I didn't mind the kiss in Chosen either btw, especially because 20 seconds later she's all business "Ok, I'm done basking, what are you doing here?" She's more mature throughout that entire scene.
I don't mind her statement in Selfless because it's finally bringing the Xander's Lie arc full circle (that ep is as much about Xander and Buffy as Xander and Anya) and she's making a very specific point to him because he's slut-shaming her and judging her again. So I get where she's coming from there.