I think my favourite observation here is to consider that Buffy's being compassionate and understanding in some senses just makes Faith feel worse -- for example, after Buffy forgives Faith over her secrets about Kakistos, Faith can't really be that angry about Buffy keeping Angel a secret, or, rather, cannot justifiably. However, Faith still is angry and hurt that Buffy didn't share with her...but rather than hold this as a moral high ground excuse/reason to attack Buffy, Faith goes into her whatever-I-don't-care mode, because that is a way that she can cope with the feeling of betrayal which she *knows* she can't fully justify on rational grounds.
I think that's part of why in some of the eps in a dark phase, especially "Enemies" and "Five By Five," Faith is really reveling in being a psycho -- I don't just mean that she's reveling in being evil, but that she's specifically reveling in being unpredictable and possibly even insane. It's not that she actually is insane or incapable of judging right from wrong. But in "Enemies," there is the sense that she really wants to show Buffy, PROVE to Buffy what kind of madwoman she is, and then relish the opportunity. Because Faith has all these feelings that she cannot really explain, or that she can only explain by cliches that hint at the truth but don't really make full sense of it (Faith's mother being an alcoholic surely was traumatic, but Faith doesn't really believe that's the source of her problems, because she believes that she is the source of them, unless they aren't problems at all...).
Anyway, one of the most powerful moments in "Enemies" for me is when Buffy responds to Faith's ranting accusation that Buffy thinks she's better than her with "I am." It's actually even more chilling (and a little damning of Buffy, in a way) after it's revealed that Angel and Buffy are playing a long game on Faith, which does really show that Buffy is not holding her upper lip stiff in the face of possible torture (compare with Wesley in "Five By Five" -- who really *is* holding onto his "you are a piece of shit" statement as a kind of desperate attempt to hold onto some of his dignity in the face of more and more torture). But anyway, Faith really is shocked that Buffy actually lays into her, rather than playing Miss Compassionate again; and she is shocked, too, when Buffy actually comes to kill her in "Graduation Day." "You did it, B." She doesn't quite believe it.
So she's got these complex feelings. On the one hand, she believes that Buffy is compassionate. On the other, she thinks it's fake compassion. *Piety*, I think -- Buffy is committed to a concept of goodness which leads to Buffy magnanimously forgiving Faith's numerous and frequent trespasses against her. Which does two things: it obscures the extent to which Buffy really is trying to reach out to Faith; and it obscures the fact that there actually *are* lines which Buffy won't brook Faith crossing.
I think of how hard it must be for Faith. To know that she is always second, even at the one thing she is best at in the world. And she has this love/envy for Buffy. And she also has this rage and anger at what she feels she's missing because of Buffy, or at the recognition that there is an asymmetry in their relationship to match the asymmetry of their studiousness as slayers. And she really doesn't actually understand where this rage is coming from, and on some level knows that it is not fair to direct it at Buffy. So Buffy must be faking her kindness, and it's not that hard to rationalize it because, well, yeah, I think that there is *some* fakeness to some of Buffy's overtures to Faith, though mostly I think Buffy is more genuine than not. And if Buffy isn't faking her kindness, well, she's a sucker and Faith's a psycho. And, oh wait, no, that's not it either. It's like she keeps circling around to find some reason for the difference between who she is and who Buffy is, and there is none. Can it be that Faith is just that bad? And, no, that's not it -- it really is a matter of circumstance that led to how radically different Faith and Buffy started out, and then bad choices compounded it. But I feel like we humans are so hard-wired to look for reasons for something, even ones that make us look bad.
no subject
I think that's part of why in some of the eps in a dark phase, especially "Enemies" and "Five By Five," Faith is really reveling in being a psycho -- I don't just mean that she's reveling in being evil, but that she's specifically reveling in being unpredictable and possibly even insane. It's not that she actually is insane or incapable of judging right from wrong. But in "Enemies," there is the sense that she really wants to show Buffy, PROVE to Buffy what kind of madwoman she is, and then relish the opportunity. Because Faith has all these feelings that she cannot really explain, or that she can only explain by cliches that hint at the truth but don't really make full sense of it (Faith's mother being an alcoholic surely was traumatic, but Faith doesn't really believe that's the source of her problems, because she believes that she is the source of them, unless they aren't problems at all...).
Anyway, one of the most powerful moments in "Enemies" for me is when Buffy responds to Faith's ranting accusation that Buffy thinks she's better than her with "I am." It's actually even more chilling (and a little damning of Buffy, in a way) after it's revealed that Angel and Buffy are playing a long game on Faith, which does really show that Buffy is not holding her upper lip stiff in the face of possible torture (compare with Wesley in "Five By Five" -- who really *is* holding onto his "you are a piece of shit" statement as a kind of desperate attempt to hold onto some of his dignity in the face of more and more torture). But anyway, Faith really is shocked that Buffy actually lays into her, rather than playing Miss Compassionate again; and she is shocked, too, when Buffy actually comes to kill her in "Graduation Day." "You did it, B." She doesn't quite believe it.
So she's got these complex feelings. On the one hand, she believes that Buffy is compassionate. On the other, she thinks it's fake compassion. *Piety*, I think -- Buffy is committed to a concept of goodness which leads to Buffy magnanimously forgiving Faith's numerous and frequent trespasses against her. Which does two things: it obscures the extent to which Buffy really is trying to reach out to Faith; and it obscures the fact that there actually *are* lines which Buffy won't brook Faith crossing.
I think of how hard it must be for Faith. To know that she is always second, even at the one thing she is best at in the world. And she has this love/envy for Buffy. And she also has this rage and anger at what she feels she's missing because of Buffy, or at the recognition that there is an asymmetry in their relationship to match the asymmetry of their studiousness as slayers. And she really doesn't actually understand where this rage is coming from, and on some level knows that it is not fair to direct it at Buffy. So Buffy must be faking her kindness, and it's not that hard to rationalize it because, well, yeah, I think that there is *some* fakeness to some of Buffy's overtures to Faith, though mostly I think Buffy is more genuine than not. And if Buffy isn't faking her kindness, well, she's a sucker and Faith's a psycho. And, oh wait, no, that's not it either. It's like she keeps circling around to find some reason for the difference between who she is and who Buffy is, and there is none. Can it be that Faith is just that bad? And, no, that's not it -- it really is a matter of circumstance that led to how radically different Faith and Buffy started out, and then bad choices compounded it. But I feel like we humans are so hard-wired to look for reasons for something, even ones that make us look bad.