Yeah, I boggled a bit at that one. I really don't think that refusing to take the blame for your ex choosing to cause harm to other people is the same as not taking responsibility for having mistreated her. Anya was the one trying to deny responsibility for her actions, and Xander was calling her on it.

It is strange how you get these fans who side with Anya during the break-up to the point where they paper over some pretty horrifying actions on her part. I mean, don't get me wrong, Xander behaved very, very badly. But he didn't try to torture Anya to death. So, yeah, if I have to pick a side, it's gonna be his.