Another Thought on Willow's Sexuality

[itsnotmymind]

So there's a lot of conversation as to whether Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer is gay or straight. I'm on the fence myself - I think both interpretations required a bit of fanwanking. But something just struck me.

Some fans argue that we should take Willow at her word - she says she's gay, she's gay. But I've never seen any of those fans acknowledge what Willow actually said. Willow didn't say she was gay - she said "gay now". In Triangle, she was very explicit that her sexuality had changed from what it was in season 3.

I don't know if a person's sexuality can change. Human sexuality is far too complicated for my poor little brain. But if you are going to say what Willow says about herself at face value, then you have to acknowledge that her sexuality did change.

Comments

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

It's hard to say, because it's unclear whether that's just how Willow defined herself or if the show simply didn't consider making her bisexual, or maybe felt there wasn't room for that conversation. The concept of bisexuality has been around for ages, and yet I think it was still a trope until fairly recently that in the media, often someone was either gay all along or straight all along. If they were bisexual, it was more played as a joke or as them being fickle. Actually, being gay or "mistaken for gay" was also treated like a joke, even in earlier episodes of Buffy. Ugh. :/

I will say that know of gay people who claim they were always gay and just didn't know it, despite having been married and having children with members of the opposite gender. Now... two people in particular are also from fairly conservative, religious families who live in an overall conservative area, so it's possible that they repressed it. Or maybe that's just the term they prefer, and if it is, more power to them.

There is some indication that Willow knows she's queer in Dopplegangled, when she meets her vampire counterpart and is like "I think she might be kinda gay." A podcast I listen to, "Still Pretty," pointed out that that could be internalized homophobia or biphobia. Also, if you consider sexuality as fluid as gender, you could argue that Oz was that one exception. I guess Willow was also pretty into Xander, but I sometimes think we can mistake different kinds of attraction. I will say that I watched Buffy a few years after the had series ended, and I was so confused when Willow was crushing on Xander because thought she was gay the whole time.

Sorry, I realize this is a long comment. I'm just struggling to articulate my thoughts concisely, especially as I don't really have any clear opinion? I'm also not sure how much I should be speaking about this because I am not a queer person, nor have I had deeper conversations about this with queer friends. So I can really only speak from my observations of real life situations and my interpretation of what the show gives us.

[itsnotmymind.livejournal.com]

No apology needed for long comment! I don't think I have anything to say back, but your thoughts are good. It is really complicated.