Another Thought on Willow's Sexuality

[itsnotmymind]

So there's a lot of conversation as to whether Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer is gay or straight. I'm on the fence myself - I think both interpretations required a bit of fanwanking. But something just struck me.

Some fans argue that we should take Willow at her word - she says she's gay, she's gay. But I've never seen any of those fans acknowledge what Willow actually said. Willow didn't say she was gay - she said "gay now". In Triangle, she was very explicit that her sexuality had changed from what it was in season 3.

I don't know if a person's sexuality can change. Human sexuality is far too complicated for my poor little brain. But if you are going to say what Willow says about herself at face value, then you have to acknowledge that her sexuality did change.

Comments

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

It's hard to say, because it's unclear whether that's just how Willow defined herself or if the show simply didn't consider making her bisexual, or maybe felt there wasn't room for that conversation. The concept of bisexuality has been around for ages, and yet I think it was still a trope until fairly recently that in the media, often someone was either gay all along or straight all along. If they were bisexual, it was more played as a joke or as them being fickle. Actually, being gay or "mistaken for gay" was also treated like a joke, even in earlier episodes of Buffy. Ugh. :/

I will say that know of gay people who claim they were always gay and just didn't know it, despite having been married and having children with members of the opposite gender. Now... two people in particular are also from fairly conservative, religious families who live in an overall conservative area, so it's possible that they repressed it. Or maybe that's just the term they prefer, and if it is, more power to them.

There is some indication that Willow knows she's queer in Dopplegangled, when she meets her vampire counterpart and is like "I think she might be kinda gay." A podcast I listen to, "Still Pretty," pointed out that that could be internalized homophobia or biphobia. Also, if you consider sexuality as fluid as gender, you could argue that Oz was that one exception. I guess Willow was also pretty into Xander, but I sometimes think we can mistake different kinds of attraction. I will say that I watched Buffy a few years after the had series ended, and I was so confused when Willow was crushing on Xander because thought she was gay the whole time.

Sorry, I realize this is a long comment. I'm just struggling to articulate my thoughts concisely, especially as I don't really have any clear opinion? I'm also not sure how much I should be speaking about this because I am not a queer person, nor have I had deeper conversations about this with queer friends. So I can really only speak from my observations of real life situations and my interpretation of what the show gives us.

[itsnotmymind.livejournal.com]

No apology needed for long comment! I don't think I have anything to say back, but your thoughts are good. It is really complicated.

[kikimay]

That's an interesting take though. If we consider "now" (As you point out) the interpretation of Willow's words should be: "I was hetero/bisexual before, but now I'm gay" which means that her sexuality did change.

I read opinions on why she was "always gay" or "always bisexual". Never acknowledging the potential change.

[itsnotmymind.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's a weird one. I'm really not sure what the writers were thinking.

[rogueslayer452.livejournal.com]

I know it's deemed a controversial issue, especially in the fandom because there's still so much debate about this, however here are my thoughts:

Sexuality is, indeed, a very complicated and complex thing. It's a spectrum and there is no age limit to discovering your sexuality. Many believed they were one thing before realizing later that they're actually something else, whether it's an awakening or realizing that a specific term/identity is what they relate to more than another. Some even have a form of compulsory heterosexuality before this discovery occurs, sometimes much later in life.

In context of the actual show and the time it was being made, I don't think they really thought a whole lot about it, at least in terms of exploring deeper into that conversation. If I'm recalling correctly, Joss Whedon did mention they planned on having one of the Scoobies be gay, hence why there were some hints about Xander possibly being not as straight as he appeared to be, although nothing really came from that, but that's a completely different conversation. I wished that they actually did have a conversation about Willow's sexuality, with her questioning what this means, seeing her struggling internally before coming to terms with being comfortable with her sexual identity. If the show were being made now, there would've certainly been something of a discussion or scene exploring that, because it would acknowledge that shift. Furthermore, just because there is a change doesn't mean one is actively choosing this shift, nor does it mean that it automatically invalidates past relationships either.

This a very deep and complex issue that is definitely far too much for BTVS to tackle (as I mentioned, they probably didn't think that far ahead and just wanted to have a gay representation on the show where during that time was very rare on television), and even within the LGBT community there is still much debate about the aspect of identities.

[itsnotmymind.livejournal.com]

Yeah - in New Moon Rising there's no indication that she isn't attracted to men. By Triangle she is "gay now". We never find out when/what changed.

[rogueslayer452.livejournal.com]

I have my own interpretation of when it happened, but it it sad nonetheless that we never actually got a scene where we saw this transition of her discovering her sexuality. While it wouldn't have stopped the countless debates had about her sexuality, I do think it would've at least lessened how heated and "controversial" the topic is whenever it's brought up.

[itsnotmymind.livejournal.com]

What is your interpretation?

[rogueslayer452.livejournal.com]

I personally interpret that it was either at the end of the fourth season or in between season four and season five is when Willow finally was confident enough to self identify as a lesbian. I also think that during the time of her getting to know Tara and discovering her feelings for her was when she was in her questioning period, especially once Oz reentered the picture briefly to make her truly examine herself with these conflicted feelings with her previous relationship versus her newfound one. It just seems like a more natural progression of how we got to the fifth season, imho.

[itsnotmymind.livejournal.com]

That strikes me as a very valid interpretation of canon.

[thenewbuzwuzz.livejournal.com]

Good point. :)

[itsnotmymind.livejournal.com]

Thank you :)