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"Eccentric" Genius
Jul. 4th, 2023 09:33 am I've seen it most recently with the controversy over Joss Whedon. A creative genius is defended for bad behavior on the grounds that geniuses are often "eccentric".
Now, I know that "eccentric behavior" in this context is actually a euphemism for "asshole behavior". But I want to take the word "eccentric" at face value for a moment.
When I was in my early twenties, I had a year that I look back on as my "Year of Depression". I spent almost an entire year in a funk. One thing I remember thinking, often, that because I wasn't some kind of genius, it wasn't OK for me to be weird, different, eccentric, etc. It's OK for geniuses to be like that - not the rest of us. The rest of us are losers.
I have a much more positive opinion of myself now in all kinds of ways. But one thing I strongly believe now is that everyone has a right to be eccentric - not just geniuses. And if by "eccentric" you mean "acting like an asshole" - well, no one has a right to be like that, genius or otherwise.
I *Am* Bipolar
Mar. 9th, 2022 05:41 pm So out in the world I've heard quite a bit recently that you shouldn't say someone "is bipolar", you should say they "have bipolar". Of course you should respect how people wish to be described, but I am going to offer here another perspective.
I am bipolar.
Nearly a decade ago, I was diagnosed as Bipolar I with psychotic episodes. I've seen people argue that you would never say someone "is" cancer - but bipolar is not like cancer. I do not believe any physical illness is comparable.
In fact, we use "I am" all the time for all kinds of things, even transient things like:
I am hungry. I am cold. I am happy. I am sad.
We also use "I am" to describe things that make up only a part of our identity, not our entire identity, just as bipolar does:
I am a woman. I am a white person. I am asexual.
I am bipolar.
Nearly a decade ago, I was diagnosed as Bipolar I with psychotic episodes. I've seen people argue that you would never say someone "is" cancer - but bipolar is not like cancer. I do not believe any physical illness is comparable.
In fact, we use "I am" all the time for all kinds of things, even transient things like:
I am hungry. I am cold. I am happy. I am sad.
We also use "I am" to describe things that make up only a part of our identity, not our entire identity, just as bipolar does:
I am a woman. I am a white person. I am asexual.
So, in conclusion, feel free to refer to me as "being" bipolar.
Coming Out
Dec. 21st, 2021 07:07 am I am officially coming out as asexual to my livejournal friends.
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Something I Relate To
Oct. 4th, 2020 12:02 pm"Females with [Autism Spectrum Disorders] often develop “coping mechanisms” that can cover up the intrinsic difficulties they experience. They may mimic their peers, watch from the sidelines, use their intellect to figure out the best ways to remain undetected, and they will study, practice, and learn appropriate approaches to social situations. Sounds easy enough, but in fact these strategies take a lot of work and can more often than not lead to exhaustion, withdrawal, anxiety, selective mutism, and depression."
https://www.aane.org/women-asperger-profiles/
https://www.aane.org/women-asperger-profiles/
The Solution to Boredom
Aug. 23rd, 2019 08:22 amSo I read this link on Tumblr. And on the one hand, I agree that you can't force a kid to enjoy a famous monument. But on the other hand, I think "You're bored! Here, have a screen," is a really bad precedent to set. When I was a kid we didn't have portable screens, and when I was bored (dragged along to my sister's softball games, for example), I played pretend games or read books. Kids are very impressionable, and they don't need to be getting the message that the solution to boredom is phones, gameboys, and more.
I stumbled on this conversation on Tumblr, and it made me think of my own stories about Y2K.
My dad works in computers, and he was able to reassure my sister and me that the world was not really ending. Unlink the parents of some of the people in the linked discussion, he didn't work to prevent the Y2K catastrophy: he avoided that kind of work because he was worried he would be laid off once the crisis was passed.
The funniest Y2K story I know is about my grandfather. Convinced the apocalypse was coming, dismissing his son's reassurances, he hoarded bottled water. In 1999, a hurricane passed through my grandparents' area. My grandparents had to boil all their water.
"It's a good thing you have all that bottled water stored in the basement," my father said.
"That's for Y2K!" my grandfather retorted, and refused to use it.
A little over a decade later, my aunt was visiting my grandparents. She and my father spoke on the phone, and he told her the Y2K water story.
"Oh, that's what all that water in the basement is for!" my aunt said.
My dad works in computers, and he was able to reassure my sister and me that the world was not really ending. Unlink the parents of some of the people in the linked discussion, he didn't work to prevent the Y2K catastrophy: he avoided that kind of work because he was worried he would be laid off once the crisis was passed.
The funniest Y2K story I know is about my grandfather. Convinced the apocalypse was coming, dismissing his son's reassurances, he hoarded bottled water. In 1999, a hurricane passed through my grandparents' area. My grandparents had to boil all their water.
"It's a good thing you have all that bottled water stored in the basement," my father said.
"That's for Y2K!" my grandfather retorted, and refused to use it.
A little over a decade later, my aunt was visiting my grandparents. She and my father spoke on the phone, and he told her the Y2K water story.
"Oh, that's what all that water in the basement is for!" my aunt said.
About Me, and Pam from Jessica Jones
Jan. 2nd, 2017 07:56 amI've been re-reading some old entries, and comments I made. It's interesting to try to see myself from the outside. I think we all have to have something of a pose when we post publicly online, but I worked so hard on maintaining mine that I never thought about what it looked like from the outside. I think you could tell I was angry. I think it's sort of like I had a double pose - one pose to protect myself, and another pose to hide how angry I was about having to maintain the first pose. I'm not so angry these days, at least.
I do come on too strong, sometimes. I'm aware of that in myself. I think that comes from fear, and trying too hard to cover it up.
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In other news, I wanted talk about why I like Pam from Jessica Jones
What I like about Pam is that she's the naïve secretary and she knows it - but she thinks that knowing she's naïve means she isn't. She thinks she knows that Jeri’s a real shark. That’s why she fell for Jeri, after all. She appears to maintain control in the relationship: . When she finds out that the restaurant Jeri is taking her to was the restaurant where Jeri proposed to Wendy, she makes it clear she wants to go elsewhere. She’s the one pushing Jeri to be more badass in dealing with Wendy. . She refuses Jeri’s marriage proposal, saying she doesn’t want to get engaged until after the divorce (“I’m Catholic”). When Wendy reveals to Pam in front of Jeri some unscrupulous behavior Jeri had engaged in, Pam pretended that she had known all along, and expressed frustration at Jeri for not telling her only after Wendy has left.
Pam thinks she knows what to expect and what can can handle where Jeri is concerned. But she doesn’t. She is, in fact, the naïve secretary. She is too young. Eventually all these little things build up and there are bigger and bigger things and she has to face the truth: Jeri is not someone she can have a relationship with.
I do come on too strong, sometimes. I'm aware of that in myself. I think that comes from fear, and trying too hard to cover it up.
***
In other news, I wanted talk about why I like Pam from Jessica Jones
What I like about Pam is that she's the naïve secretary and she knows it - but she thinks that knowing she's naïve means she isn't. She thinks she knows that Jeri’s a real shark. That’s why she fell for Jeri, after all. She appears to maintain control in the relationship: . When she finds out that the restaurant Jeri is taking her to was the restaurant where Jeri proposed to Wendy, she makes it clear she wants to go elsewhere. She’s the one pushing Jeri to be more badass in dealing with Wendy. . She refuses Jeri’s marriage proposal, saying she doesn’t want to get engaged until after the divorce (“I’m Catholic”). When Wendy reveals to Pam in front of Jeri some unscrupulous behavior Jeri had engaged in, Pam pretended that she had known all along, and expressed frustration at Jeri for not telling her only after Wendy has left.
Pam thinks she knows what to expect and what can can handle where Jeri is concerned. But she doesn’t. She is, in fact, the naïve secretary. She is too young. Eventually all these little things build up and there are bigger and bigger things and she has to face the truth: Jeri is not someone she can have a relationship with.
(no subject)
Sep. 23rd, 2016 08:16 amI think I approach fandom differently from many fans. I often hear people say that fandom is escapism for them. that idea is alien to me. Fandom never could be an escape for me, even if I wanted it to be. Fandom has been part of who I am - been who I am - since long before I started hanging out in the internet. Since long before I can remember. I take fandom as seriously as I do the rest of my life. Getting a livejournal and joining fandom wasn't easy for me. It was very stressful. To this day, fandom can cause me as much unhappiness as the real world, and often more. I'm not in fandom to escape from the world. I'm in fandom to process the world. Fantasy worlds have always been a way for me to deal with the real world metaphorically, indirectly. To understand it from a different angle.
I think I do fandom different from a lot of people in that regard. Fandom is not supposed to be fun for me. Fandom is supposed to be fulfilling.
I think I do fandom different from a lot of people in that regard. Fandom is not supposed to be fun for me. Fandom is supposed to be fulfilling.
Fandom Hiatus
Jun. 4th, 2015 12:49 pmThought I should drop a line to let you all know that I’m taking a break from fandom. I’m currently between jobs, and I don’t think that’s a good mental state for me to be interacting with fandom. I hope you all are well.
Leave of Absence
Oct. 30th, 2012 12:16 pmI'm talking a leave of absence from fandom of indeterminate length for mental health reasons. I had a nervous breakdown/psychotic break. It's probably a once-in-a-lifetime sort of thing. I have a good support network and am making a good recovery. I'm sorry if I caused anyone any grief. I hope you all are having fun. I need some space in order to take care of myself right now.
