Buffy's attitude towards Spike in early S7

This post is part defense of Buffy’s attitude towards Spike in early S7, and part explanation of her point of view (which is not, itself, a defense). I’m not sure if there are any fans who still feel that Buffy was too harsh on Spike in early S7—it’s not a complaint I’ve read recently—but I know there were at one time, and this bugs me, so on with the defense/explanation.

I’ve already discussed Buffy’s decision not to tell the Scoobies about her mistreatment of Spike here. This is more general about Buffy’s behavior in early S7.

*Warning for discussion of rape and abuse*

( First of all... )