(no subject)

I think I approach fandom differently from many fans. I often hear people say that fandom is escapism for them. that idea is alien to me. Fandom never could be an escape for me, even if I wanted it to be. Fandom has been part of who I am - been who I am - since long before I started hanging out in the internet. Since long before I can remember. I take fandom as seriously as I do the rest of my life. Getting a livejournal and joining fandom wasn't easy for me. It was very stressful. To this day, fandom can cause me as much unhappiness as the real world, and often more. I'm not in fandom to escape from the world. I'm in fandom to process the world. Fantasy worlds have always been a way for me to deal with the real world metaphorically, indirectly. To understand it from a different angle.

I think I do fandom different from a lot of people in that regard. Fandom is not supposed to be fun for me. Fandom is supposed to be fulfilling.