What Buffy actually says to Spike is, "No. I don't hate like that. Not you, or myself. Not anymore." Maybe I'm being overly analytical, but I think she could think herself worse than anyone without hating herself this way she did in S6. I don't think those two statements are contradictory.
I do think that Buffy is generally low on the self-awareness scale. Although I don't think not be analytical about something is the same as not thinking about it, necessarily, although it can be.
I'm not actually sure that analyzing your motives in depth is the best way to deal with your mistakes. I'm still piecing this together, and I'm not sure. And of course applying my experiences to Buffy is difficult because I've never done anything like beat my boyfriend black and blue. But I'm not convinced that I accept your premise.
Self-awareness was important for Faith, but I don't think the important thing for Faith was understanding why she did the stuff she did. I think the important thing for Faith was realized that she did want to be good, despite what she was telling herself and everyone around her.
I think...I think one of Buffy's problems is that she's trying too hard to be good. And this is hard to explain, because I think to a certain extent her "goodness" is a con, but it's also very sincere. And I feel like Buffy's response to any of the criticism I see launched at her in fandom would be to try harder to be good, and that's sort of the problem. Nobody can be that good. I think even before Buffy could begin to address her flaws, she has to accept the fact that her flaws are forgivable, and that she's lovable as a person.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2016-01-29 01:53 pm (UTC)I do think that Buffy is generally low on the self-awareness scale. Although I don't think not be analytical about something is the same as not thinking about it, necessarily, although it can be.
I'm not actually sure that analyzing your motives in depth is the best way to deal with your mistakes. I'm still piecing this together, and I'm not sure. And of course applying my experiences to Buffy is difficult because I've never done anything like beat my boyfriend black and blue. But I'm not convinced that I accept your premise.
Self-awareness was important for Faith, but I don't think the important thing for Faith was understanding why she did the stuff she did. I think the important thing for Faith was realized that she did want to be good, despite what she was telling herself and everyone around her.
I think...I think one of Buffy's problems is that she's trying too hard to be good. And this is hard to explain, because I think to a certain extent her "goodness" is a con, but it's also very sincere. And I feel like Buffy's response to any of the criticism I see launched at her in fandom would be to try harder to be good, and that's sort of the problem. Nobody can be that good. I think even before Buffy could begin to address her flaws, she has to accept the fact that her flaws are forgivable, and that she's lovable as a person.
I have no idea how that would happen, though.