itsnotmymind: (sam and ruby)
If I didn't know better, I would be certain the Imagine Dragons song Monster was written for season four Sam Winchester. However, Wikipedia assures me that it was written for a video game.

I'm actually surprised by how little attention this song has gotten among SPN fans. I once saw a Sam-focused gif set on tumblr that used some lyrics from this song, but otherwise…not so much. Which is surprising because not only is the song absolutely perfect for Sam, but the band is wildly popular.

For those of you who are not familiar with the song, a Youtube link:

And it keeps getting stronger )
itsnotmymind: (sam & dean all hell breaks loose)
When Dean Winchester's blood type was revealed to be type O in Soul Survivor, eagle-eyed fans pointed out that John's dog tags, briefly displayed back in season two, revealed his blood type was AB. Fun facts you learn from fandom: Someone with type AB blood can't have a biological child with type O blood.

Biological Relations )
itsnotmymind: (buffy crying)
Brian Jacques was the fantasy author who turned me on to fantasy novels. I was eight - I haven't read a book of his in years, but there was a time when I read his Redwall books repeatedly. Despite his intended audience of children, he was quite the character killer. No book finished without at least one major sympathetic character dead. I shed so many tears over his books. I learned, then, how good it feels to cry over a story.

Because you're breaking my heart )
itsnotmymind: (gadreel)
*Warning for discussion of sexual assault*

A couple years ago I made a tumblr post on the topic of comparing demonic/angelic possession to rape, a comparison that was made a lot in Supernatural's tumblr-based fandom at that time. I've since deleted my tumblr, but decided to re-create that post here since it was such a succinct summary of my views.

At the time, Sam's Gadreel possession was a very recent and controversial thing (I don't read SPN tumblr fandom now, but while I imagine it is still controversial it is not nearly as fresh). Comparisons between possession and sexual assault had existed in fandom prior to season 9, but after the Gadreel possession they skyrocketed. The comparison to rape was used to highlight the horror of Sam's experience, and sometime to vilify fans who downplayed the seriousness of the possession.

So here's my thoughts:

Don't trivialize what is real by claiming it is the same as something made up )
itsnotmymind: (dean/cassie)
One of the downsides of woobifying a male character is that the claims made about the character can too easily have sexist implications. Two examples involving arguments from fans of one Dean Winchester:

Cause endless understanding is the sign of a healthy relationship )
itsnotmymind: (sam & dean & john)
A response to a common interpretation of the Sam and Dean argument in Scarecrow:

I did not see an SPN episode called “Scarecrow” where "Sam leaves Dean (again)" (paraphrase of common fannish description, not an exact quote from anyone).

You're a selfish bastard, you know that? )
itsnotmymind: (sam and ruby)
I just finished re-watching Repo Man. I've always thought it a strong episode, one that really takes a harsh look at how Sam and Dean treat possessed people. But nonetheless, I've always felt the making Jeffrey turn out to be so evil undermined that harsh look. It makes it harder for us to care, to empathize with Jeffrey, to fully feel the effects of Sam and Dean's actions.

Yet somehow, I never noticed how the exorcism of the demon Nora's son completely undermines any argument for the Winchester brothers' near-constant murders of countless possession victims. Some fans have argues that demons should be killed rather the exorcised because otherwise the demons will return to kill others. Well, here is a demon who is especially dangerous - he not only kills, he possesses people planning to teach them how to be serial killers, so they can kill on their own after he leaves. Yet, because they have sympathy towards the victim's mother, Sam and Dean choose to exorcise him.

Dean even kills Jeffrey to keep him from killing the demon. Don't get me wrong - the Winchester brothers had no feelings of mercy towards Jeffrey at this point, nor should they have. There's a reason Dean shot him instead of making an attempt to disarm him. Nonetheless, I don't think Dean would have killed him directly accept to save another person - even if saving another person means saving the demon inhabiting that person. So much for the "No matter what meat suit he's in, I should have knifed him," argument that he gave a season later, after trying to kill Linda Tran.

(Also, so much for the fanon I've encountered that Sam cares about people he knows more than people he doesn't know, but Dean has no such prejudice...)

If killing Nora's son would have been wrong, why is it okay to kill so many nameless people who had the misfortune to have demons shoved inside them?
itsnotmymind: (sam & dean metamorphosis)
I spent this morning thinking about hurtful lines from my favorites TV shows. Things that characters say to the people they love that are devastating. I picked out my current favorites from each of my favorite TV shows (Torchwood, Buffy, Supernatural, Jessica Jones). I'm sure there's particularly devastating lines that I've forgotten, but here's what I have now:
Ow )
itsnotmymind: (Default)
I’m skeeved out by how dehumanized the two villains are in in Family Remains. I've only once heard this talked about in fandom, and in a very limited sense: A fan (a Dean fan, of course) rightfully criticized Sam for describing them as barely human. But it goes beyond Sam. The narrative itself portrays them as subuman animals.

I find this disturbing, because incest and abuse are things that happen in real life. They are topics that are already wreathed in shame. And here we have a story about children conceived from incest who are subhuman. I am not OK with that.
itsnotmymind: (Default)
Jack is of course very obviously a stand-in for Sam, down to horrifying his loved ones with the blood on his face. Jack turns into something non-human, as we were told - but never shown - Sam would do.

Control )
itsnotmymind: (Default)
Thoughts on the SPN episode In the Beginning:

Young Mary Winchester )
itsnotmymind: (Default)
One of the reasons I don't like Bobby Singer is that he so often feels like a plot device. His down-to-earth take-no-shit personality is supposed to be cute, I guess, but it’s shallow and cutesy because his actions don't match it. He goes along with what Sam and Dean want. In Lazarus Rising, he objects to Dean’s plan to summon Castiel, and to not tell Sam. But while he complains, he goes along with it. Dean felt the need to keep Sam out of the plan, but not Bobby. I’m also think of WtLB (where, again, Bobby objects to Dean’s plan but goes along with it). He also, in early S6, bizarrely supports soulless’ decision to not let Dean know he’s alive. I’m thinking, too, of Mystery Spot - here, Bobby does nothing but nag Sam. When he finally seems to actually do something, it’s the Trickster, instead. Bobby is ineffective when dealing with Sam and Dean. He acts as a sounding board, but rarely seems to have any influence over them.

He's not their father )
itsnotmymind: (Default)
It the last thing we see Amy Pond say to Sam is this: “You could still walk away from this. We both can. Sam... After what I did for you.”

It's the same card Dean pays in the Pilot, in the church in Sacrifice. The same care Ruby plays in IKWYDLS. Look what I did for you.
itsnotmymind: (Default)
I have thoughts - and feelings, on Spike and Dean Winchester, on the roles they play. I am not the first person to note that there are similarities between Spike's devotion to Buffy (and previously Dru) and Dean's to Sam.

On love )
itsnotmymind: (Default)
What are the limits of crossroads demons in SPN?

Prior to AHBL2, I do not think we saw any demon bring back the dead. Dean was dying. Julie (Evan's wife) in Crossroad Blues was dying.

But Sam was dead.

Yet there must be limits on demon deals. No one’s sold their soul for world peace, have they? I feel like once we were told that sometimes demons can only do certain things if someone makes a deal. Like Anya? Like vengeance demons? I’m not sure.

In The Wish, we see Anya completely alter reality, but I don't think we ever see anything like that from a vengeance demon again. The implication are never address. Can crossroads demons alter realty?
itsnotmymind: (Default)
I was thinking about Sam's emotional intimacy issues in light of a some of his interactions with demons.

As usual, bear in mind that I haven't seen past S10.

Do you remember the time Sam totally confided in Meg? He doesn’t want to confide, and then she pushes, and she reminds him that she knows his “sad, little thoughts and feelings.” He tells her that’s creepy, but then he starts opening up to her. She pushes, and he ends up telling her all about Amelia. She’s been inside his head. She literally knows everything about him. She was the first, but not the last.

If I was going to name one person besides Dean who Sam confided in the most within the context of an actual relationship, it would be Ruby.

And he never loved her.

I just can’t believe he would have had absolutely no concern and reaction about her death if he had in any way loved her.

She’s like Dean and not like Dean. He sees Dean as speaking through her, and she calls him “my boy”. She plays Dean’s trump card, the reminder of what she has done for him (“I'm a fugitive... For you, Sam. I took all of this risk to get back to you, so, yeah, I deserve a damn ‘thank you.’”) but it doesn’t work as well for her. Sam wonders who asked her to save him (who asked Dean?). She doesn’t express affection for him, and he doesn’t feel affection for her. They’re using each other, that much is upfront.

She expresses empathy about Dean’s death, but not untill after they’ve been working together for a while. Then she convinced him to sleep with h er. The emotional intimacy is there and gone. She puts it out there, but instead of letting him pull away and shut her out, she pushes him into another kind of intimacy, one that is considerably less intimate. A distraction from the emotional intimacy he would have withdrawn from (He fled Bobby, didn’t he? And if Mystery Spot is anything to judge by, he would have fled Bobby no matter how hard Bobby pushed for connection.). In sleeping with her he is accepting his monstrous nature. In sleeping with her he is rejecting and accepting his brother. In sleeping with her, he is giving her attempt to reach out to him an affirmation that he would never have given her under any other circumstances.
itsnotmymind: (Default)
One of my thoughts about Sam Winchester is that he has issue with emotional intimacy.

It's a big step )
itsnotmymind: (Default)
I've often thought that what Dean says in Metamorphosis, "If I didn't know you I would want to hunt you", is the worst line that either Sam or Dean have said to each other while not under supernatural influence.

Dean does apologize for it. But look at how, exactly, he apologizes: “Sam, I wanna tell you I'm sorry. I've been kind of hard on you lately.[...]It's just that your, uh, your psychic thing, it scares the crap out of me.”

I think his acknowledgement that he is afraid is true. I think Dean's actions in Metamorphosis are based very much on fear.

But let's look at the rest of the apology. Dean apologizes for having been “hard” on Sam. What are the implications of that?

“Hard” implies overcritical, expecting too much, being too harsh.

I should have softened things for you because I love you.

“Hard” does not imply inaccurate, untrue, or wrong.

“Hard” kind of implies “righteous”, in a way. But going too far.

I was righteous but I should not have treated you that way because I love you. If I didn’t love you, I would want to hunt you.

Dean is not, actually, contradicting his statement that if he didn't know Sam, he would want to hunt him.

In Citizen Fang, when Sam said, “You’re too close to this”, he was not articulating a deeply hidden fear. He was articulating a desperate desire.
itsnotmymind: (Default)
*Warning for discussion of sexual assault*

I'm pretty sure Dean's issues with Sam's sexuality started with Ruby. He doesn’t seem to be concerned that Sam would sleep with Ruby in S3. He had other Ruby issues, but not that. I don’t recall him having issues with Sam sleeping with Madison. In S1 Dean was the one pushing for Sam to get involved with women.

It would be in the dark )

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