Miscellaneous Thoughts on Fandom

[itsnotmymind]

Typical fan: "I like characters with flaws."

Typical fan: "I dislike character X because she/he has flaws A, B, and C."

There's no right or wrong reason for disliking a fiction character (or at least very few). There are certainly character flaws that push all my buttons and make me dislike the character possessing them (and not always the objectively worst character flaws, even). But it's odd how many fans claim to love characters for the flaws, and then just take it for granted that the reason to dislike a character is that they have flaws.

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Your public livejournal/tumblr/other social media is not your space.

It is your platform. It is not your space.

Certainly you can and should have some sense of how you expect people interacting with you blog to behave. You should be the one to decide those expectations, not anyone else. You should enforce those expectations as you choose.

But if you choose to make statements to the world, the world is going to want to talk back. You can't make public announcements that anyone can read and then block and hide from anyone who makes you uncomfortable, anyone who does not reflect your worldview back upon you. You can't pontificate to anyone with an internet connection and then do everything in your power to hide from responses to your words made by people who like TV shows that offend you, or have negative opinions about fictional characters you love, or who respectfully point out that your arguments don't make sense.

Well, you can. But I, for one, will be unable to have any respect for you.

Public social media is not a place where you should feel comfortable.

Safe, yes. Comfortable, no.

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Every time I have heard a fan describe a fictional character as an "unsympathetic victim", it has always been a character that the fan has no problem sympathizing with whatsoever.

How convenient for them.

ETA: Okay, clearly I am cranky today. "I[...]will be unable to have respect for you" is a vast overstatement and unfair. It will lower my opinion of you, a little. But there is a lot more to people than how they choose to moderate their social media. My bad.

Comments

[rbfvid.livejournal.com]

You know, while I do understand sentiment "don't start a discussion if you don't want a discussion", but demanding that people shouldn't protect themselves from hate is a wrong thing to do.
Sadly, fandom isn't a safe place (especially tumblr nowdays). Receiving nasty threats for liking/disliking ship or a character isn't uncommon. Voicing out contradictional opinion could get you tons of hate, if some popular blog picks it up and says "Sick, bash them!" And people have every right to protect themselves from being bashed.

[itsnotmymind.livejournal.com]

To quote myself: "Certainly you can and should have some sense of how you expect people interacting with you blog to behave. You should be the one to decide those expectations, not anyone else. You should enforce those expectations as you choose."

Also, I said that public social media should be a place where you feel safe.

I'm not talking about protecting yourself from nasty threats. I'm talking about, for example, the person who blocked me on tumblr because I reblogged a negative post about a character they loved (who I love, too, by the way). This person then made a public post about a post that was almost certainly mine. Although they did not name the post, I am more than 90% certain it was mine. They completely misinterpreted it, ripped it apart. Because they had blocked me, I had absolutely no way to talk to them about it. That was actually the last straw that led to me leaving tumblr.

I'm talking about people who block people on tumblr (block, not just unfollowed) because of TV shows they post about.

I'm talking about someone who blocked someone on livejournal for doing things like expressing the opinion that it's not okay for a woman to call another woman a whore (the owner of livejournal thought it was acceptable for women to call each other whores because it was reclaiming the word).

[rbfvid.livejournal.com]

So, they simply want their fandom space to be unicorns and rainbows, without any criticism. They don't want to talk about it. They don't want to hear about it. So what? As long as they are not harassing you, leave them alone.
In RL people have to endure things they don't like all the time. So, yeah, many overreact about it online. But when they, for whaever reason, don't want any controversy in their blogs, it's their own business.

[itsnotmymind.livejournal.com]

...

You do realize that you are commenting on someone else's livejournal in order to tell them that they are incorrect in not ignoring what other people say on their journals and tumblrs, right?

[rbfvid.livejournal.com]

*shrugs* If you don't want to start a discussion, then don't start a discussion.

[itsnotmymind.livejournal.com]

You misunderstand me. I'm happy to have a discussion, and I'm pleased to engage with you, and that you are engaging with me. I just don't know how to react to ridiculous arguments. I mean, I don't know want to hurt your feelings. I just don't know how to react.

[rbfvid.livejournal.com]

Um, what's so ridiculos about the idea that people don't have to tolerate things they don't like in their online space?

Though I do agree, that me bargin in in your venting post, where you were just asking for compassion, is a ridiculous thing, and I'm feeling pretty bad about that.

[itsnotmymind.livejournal.com]

I did not say that "the idea that people don't have to tolerate things they don't like in their online space" was ridiculous. I disagree with it intensely, but I would not call it ridiculous.

I said that claiming "that people don't have to tolerate things they don't like in their online space" and then going to someone's livejournal to tell them that they should "leave them alone", as if making a post on their own journal constituted not leaving them alone, is ridiculous. It's like announcing that one plus one is three.

I did not at any point in this post or discussion ask for compassion. I appreciate comments, but it makes me frustrated when people respond to something other than what I actually said, and when people make statements that make as much sense as someone saying one and one is three.

[supernutjapan.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry hon *hugs*
That must have been really painful and frustrating to have to go through something like that. It's amazing how different people are.

While some people like you wish to discuss and gain mutual understanding, some only care about stressing their own point of view and judging others.

This person is not worth your time honey. It's hard but we just have to let it go and move on. People will see the truth. There will be people who can see this person for what they are and question their judgements. Those are the people you need to hang with aye?

Discussion takes a lot of courage as well as open mindedness. I am guilty of running from it from time to time too unfortunately although I wouldn't block anyone for such a crazy reason. I feel the same way about social media as you.

[itsnotmymind.livejournal.com]

It is hard, because...I did get too bitchy in this post. Part of the reason I had such a hard time with that whole experience was because I couldn't completely write that person off...not only did we have mutual connections (many of whom very much admired the other person), but I read a lot of what they had to say and a lot of it was smart and thoughtful. And I always get to thinking, maybe they have good reason. I don't know their lives, maybe they have something going on.

But it's wrong. You can be a good person in many ways and still do something wrong or make a mistake. And it is sad to have to let go of potential connections because the other party doesn't want you, but yeah, you have to let go. I just wanted to say outright in public that I think it is wrong, because I never heard anyone else say it.

Thank you very much. <3

[supernutjapan.livejournal.com]

I understand why you would get a tad emotional. It's been bothering you for a while aye?

You're welcome *hugs*

If you ever need an ear just to get the emotions out of your system feel free to use me - pm or email. I know what it's like to have to suffer something like that alone. I'm serious, aye?

[supernutjapan.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry hon *hugs*
That must have been really painful and frustrating to have to go through something like that. It's amazing how different people are.

While some people like you wish to discuss and gain mutual understanding, some only care about stressing their own point of view and judging others.

This person is not worth your time honey. It's hard but we just have to let it go and move on. People will see the truth. There will be people who can see this person for what they are and question their judgements. Those are the people you need to hang with aye?

Discussion takes a lot of courage as well as open mindedness. I am guilty of running from it from time to time too unfortunately although I wouldn't block anyone for such a crazy reason. I feel the same way about social media as you.