"I can't be in your club"

[itsnotmymind]

I get irritated by Buffy in Sanctuary as much as the next Faith fan, but I've always been bothered the level of flack she receives from fandom for saying Angel, "I'm sorry. I can't be in your club. I never murdered anybody."


(Actually, if anything, I'm more annoyed by her statement a few lines earlier that "A cry for help is when you say 'help' in a loud voice." I try to have sympathy as I know in context that she's talking about Faith's attempt to murder someone she loves, but that doesn't change the fact that a cry for help really really isn't always saying "help" in a loud voice. Buffy doesn't spend a lot of time saying "help" in a loud voice in S6, or S7, now, does she?)

A lot of fans get upset about Buffy's claim that she "never murdered anyone." It's technically true - I've never heard anyone deny that. But many fans argue that she's separating herself from Faith, and particular Angel, and presenting herself as better - even though she has committed attempted murder, and it's only simple chance that keeps her out of their "club".

But let's look at that line in context.

Angel: "I know Faith did some bad things to you."
Buffy: "You can't possibly know."
Angel: "And you can't possibly know what she's going through."
Buffy: "And of course, you do? - I'm sorry. I can't be in your club. I never murdered anybody."

Angel is the one who separates Faith and himself from Buffy. Not Buffy. Angel. From Buffy's perspective, she came to L.A. to save someone she loves from the woman who has repeatedly tried to rip her life apart with horrifying results - and finds the man she loves helping said woman and rubbing it in Buffy's face that the two of them have more in common with each other than either do with her.

Buffy's making it far too much about herself - understandable given what Faith's done to her, but petty nonetheless. But her statement "I never murdered anyone" is not a judgment of Faith or an attempt to make herself feel superior to Faith. It's a reaction to Angels claim that she can't understand what Faith is going to - Angel's identification with Faith and his attempt to convince an upset Buffy that she should emphasize with the woman who victimized her. Buffy in this moment does not feel superior because she's not in Angel and Faith's club. She's devastated about being shoved out by her ex-boyfriend in favor of her rival - and furious that she's being shoved out precisely because she has not been evil.

Angel is the one who told Buffy she couldn't "possibly" understand Faith. Angel Angel Angel. All Buffy did was spell out what that meant.

That said - I do think it is probably significant that Buffy phrases this in terms of "murder", and not, say, "evil" or some other word that Buffy doesn't almost almost qualify for. I agree with fans who hate the lack of Buffy-related follow-up to Buffy's stabbing of Faith. But I do think Buffy thought about it. Between Ted and Graduation Part 1, Buffy has had two experiences of believing she killed a fellow human being, only to find out she was mistaken. In both cases (Ted explicitly, GD judging by facial expression and body language), she was deeply shocked and upset by what she had done. And then it turned out that she had been given an out, that the person she had "killed" had survived. In both cases I think she deeply relieved. So when Angel says to her, "you can't possibly know what she's going through," and Buffy in a self-involved moment hears it in terms of her rivalry with Faith over Angel, I wonder if she didn't have a moment where she thought that if Ted or Faith had really been dead she could be in that club, could understand Angel better. So the word she use was "murder" - because I can't help but wonder if for one, petty moment she was jealous that Finch stayed dead and Ted didn't.

Comments

[kikimay]

I think that Angel projects way too much of himself into Faith. I don't feel like Faith was ever really similar to Angelus. Maybe to Spike, but definetely she wasn't that sadistic and calculating. (She was a sadist, when she tortured Wesley, but you know what I mean, right?) And he was already like that in S3 of Buffy, "once you taste murder, you like it too much" and so on ... Dude, maybe less of that.

Buffy was rightfully pissed as hell and she was self-centered and very aggressive towards Faith. I honestly understand her a lot. It's obviously not a "good reaction", but I would be angry too. There's definetely the tragedy of two wounded people - Buffy and Faith - who can't communicate. Unfortunately, that also becomes relationship drama between Angel and Buffy.

[itsnotmymind.livejournal.com]

I think Angel handles Faith better in Five By Five/Sanctuary than he did in Consequences. In Consequences he's this guilt-ridden, isolated vampire who is trying to talk down a vicious girl so he projects all over her and tries to talk down his past self, instead. His condescension with Buffy takes the form of protecting her "innocence" and making decisions for her. With Faith, it takes the form of deciding that he completely understands "what's goin' on with [her]" even though he barely knows her.

But he handles her very different in Angel S1. I completely understand why Angel chained Faith up in Consequences, but it's telling that his decision not to treat her like a prisoner in Sanctuary is far more effective. In Sanctuary, he tells her he understands what she's going through, but he barely lectures her on her mental state. When he does ("You thought that you could just touch [the darkness]. That you'd be okay. - 5x5, right, Faith? - But it swallowed you whole. - So tell me - how did you like it?"), it 's about her, and not him. Instead of talking about what the darkness was like for him, he references her "five by five" catchphrase.

So in short, I think Angel does a much better job in Sanctuary than in Consequences. And he treats her like the adult she has become, instead of lecturing like a preacher ("But you're not a god. You're not much more than a child. Going down this path will ruin you. You can't imagine the price for true evil."). I'm wondering now what it was about the first season of AtS that change Angel. I think it helped a lot that he had people to relate to outside of his rather fucked-up relationship with Buffy.

I am behind Buffy's anger, but I do get really annoy about how she turns Angel's decision to help Faith as some kind of romantic betrayal of her. And the reality is, Faith hurt Angel, too. That doesn't take away Buffy's right to be angry, but it makes it hard for me to see Angel's decision to help Faith as a slight against Buffy.

[lokifan]

Totally agreed that Angel projects onto Faith SO HARD in S3 and it's the opposite of helpful, even if he is trying.

And yeah, itsnotmymind, I agree. Buffy's just spelling out what Angel's saying. It does suck when she's saying it about Faith, when she didn't kill her only by chance. But Buffy tried SO HARD with Faith, and this is the end of her rope. I also think what Faith did to Riley, and Faith's previous attempts at seducing Angel in an attack on Buffy, are making it understandably hard for Buffy to see their connection as something positive.

[itsnotmymind.livejournal.com]

I think the "I never murdered anyone" line is obnoxious, but to say it's about Buffy putting herself above Faith is to take it out of context.